Monday 11 February 2008
DOUG R.
(England)
Happy
Valentine’s Day
How gloomy is the month of February? Have you wondered why?
Take
your pick:
Are bills overhanging from Christmas and New Year celebrations been
paid?
Have family Christmas quarrels left a brooding shadow on family
life?
The short winter days add to the gloom, draining warmth from body
and soul, bringing cold, fog and ice.
Their solution was
‘have a festival.’
They lived closer to nature then we do. They paid more attention as
the first stirrings of spring began to appear. They recognised how Nature
was signalling the imminent arrival of change, but not yet.
They chose to have a festival day around the middle of February.
This fitted in with their observations of nature. They analysed how Spring’s
arrival was linked to re-birth, renewal, a re-awakening, a sign that nature
would rebuild.
Nature encouraged them by promising how the fruits of the earth
would soon arrive to improve their harsh lives. The gradual strengthening of
the Sun’s rays begins to warm the cold earth around this time of year.
Nature was telling them ‘Things are about to change’.
Married men made poor quality soldiers.
He issued a decree forbidding marriage.
This unpopular action created significant opposition both in the
general population and potential recruits.
Opposition included the developing Catholic Church and its priests.
Many continued to perform marriage ceremonies in secret.
One such priest, called Valentine, was caught performing a marriage
ceremony. He was arrested and thrown in jail.
When locals heard the news, many visited him in jail, sent flowers
and generally encouraged him with enthusiastic support.
With her father’s permission one frequent visitor
was the blind daughter of the chief jailer. These
two people talked for many hours, obviously developing a deep relationship.
The day of execution arrived. Valentine wrote a goodbye note to her, signing it ‘with love from your Valentine.’
The date was 14 Feb 269.
The date of 15 Feb, had been the pagan "Feast of
Lupercalia." "Unattached" girls could put their names into a jar or
box. Young men then drew out names randomly. Chosen girls were regarded as
being attached to those boys for one year.
The early Catholic Church often used the device of replacing pagan
feast days with their own saints’ days. In this case it made sense to
combine these two important pagan days into the one catholic day in honour
of St Valentine.
Chaucer wrote a poem ‘The Parliament of Fowls,’ a feast day. This
was to celebrate the engagement of Anne of Bohemia to Richard, King of
England in 1381. He poetically joined the traditional timing for the mating
of birds to this Royal engagement:
After the sad tale of Valentine became general knowledge, the date
of 14 Feb became the traditional day when men give handwritten messages
expressing their affection to the woman they admired. They were happy to
follow the example of this brave Saint.
The practice of sending written Valentine cards developed around
1400. The earliest known existing example is in the British museum
The practice developed into elaborate cards featuring cupids and
hearts, made with lace and coloured ribbons. In these commercialised days,
after Christmas and New Year it is the next highest card sending time of
year. 3% of Americans send one to their pets.
Other Valentine's Traditions.
A very ancient tradition in Wales has been for men to carve a wooden
spoon with designs and names such as locks or keys "to unlock your heart"
and the name of the girl maybe hidden somewhere. (But not too difficult to
find!)
During the Middle Ages.
Those who drew names from the lottery jar,
bowl
or box started wearing the names of their chosen on
their sleeves
for the week after the draw.
Hence the modern expression ‘wearing your heart on your sleeve’
came to mean "you are open about your personal
feelings".
Another practice was for an admiring man to give his amour an
article of clothing. If she kept it, this implied acceptance of marriage
possibility.
Sayings include that if a woman saw a robin flying, she would marry
a sailor. If she saw a sparrow,
her marriage would be to a poor man but happy.
If she saw
a goldfinch she would marry a very rich man-
(nothing about happiness though.)
Poonah- designs painted through a stencil cut into oil paper.
Pinprick- tiny holes pricked into paper to create a face.
Cut-out- fold paper several times,
then replicate lace using scissors.
Acrostic- verses with the amour’s name spelled out hidden in the
first few lines.
Puzzle Purse- verses hidden inside a folded puzzle which must be
opened in a specific order.
Rebus- Very small pictures or drawings replace words but convey the
idea. A picture of an eye would replace the word eye.
Fraktur- simulations of medieval manuscripts.
Country Varations.
English women pinned a bay leaf at each pillow corner, to provoke
their dreams
of a future husband.
Danish practice was to exchange poems and sweets. Some send jokey
letters (gaekkebrev). The writer signs his name in dots.
If the woman guesses the correct name, she sent him
a
chocolate egg at Easter.
So if we accept the day is entirely for the benefit of the woman
either in your life now or who you wish to have in your future life, what
does she expect on Valentine's Day?
Simple easy things -
these are the ones that don’t work.
Kitchen gadgets?
Does it have any practical use in a kitchen? Forget it.
The formula is kitchen = workplace + work.
Does that seem Romantic to you?
Bathroom?
Is it any use at all? Forget it.
Is a bubble bath cheap?
No, or maybe not ,
but you are.
Food?
Is it any use? Forget it.
The formula? Take your choice:
Raw uncooked food = pathetic
Shelf food
= pathetic and cheap
Prepared food = desperate and cheap
Your own gourmet cooked food= yeah right
Clothes?
You have a major cultural, structural and technical problem.
You don’t understand women’s clothes, and you never will.
Don’t go there.
Useful Gadgets?
You mean ‘buy something for one of your
mates?’
All CDs, MP3s, videos,
software, sports equipment,
gift certificates.
No. None of them, nor anything that comes
‘with instructions.’
To summarise.
NO to anything edible, useful or something that interests you.
So what then?
Very simple
really.
Flowers, jewellery, chocolate.
Any one item individually or combined with one or both of the
others.
It’s the thought that counts.
Remember?
It is her day. Make her feel like a queen. It’s called Romance.
Examples:
Breakfast in bed.
Write your own letter in your own words. Remind her of enjoyable
moments from your shared past, dreams you shared. Whatever gave you both
pleasure in the past, you recall with modern pleasure. In your own words.
One red rose.
No,
not a bunch or a dozen, just the one.
And not from a petrol station either.
Short of cash?
Arrange an evening at home but with a difference.
Hire/ buy a DVD but with a romantic theme. Nothing about war or
sports.
GIVE HER THE REMOTE CONTROL.
Don’t forget snacks, drinks, pillows.
Hold her hand.
(kisses are free, remember?)
Treat her to champagne, hot chocolate, coffee whatever..
Foot massage.
Soak her feet in warm water with scented salts, scrub her heels with
a pumice stone, and dry them with a fluffy towel.
Finished?
NO.
Massage her feet with scented lotion.
Spend the entire evening overwhelming her with attention.
Add those courtship tricks of old.
Reaffirm she is still your lovely lady.
Whatever you do, do not ignore 14 February. It
will require effort. It is not easy.
It is not measured in armloads of flowers,
pounds of chocolates or tray loads of diamonds.
It is something from you to her. You know it, she knows it.
Here are some quotations you may wish to use.
At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.
Plato.
Love is like an hour glass.
The heart fills as the brain empties.
Like measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.
Lord Byron
You don’t love a woman because she is beautiful, she is beautiful
because you love her.
Anon
Friendship often ends in love, love in friendship never.
Charles Colton.
Life is the flower, love the honey. Victor Hugo
Being loved gives you strength, loving someone gives you courage.
Lao Tzu
If you judge people, you have no room to love them. Mother Teresa.
Love me when I least deserve it. That is when I really need it.
Swedish Proverb
A kiss is nature’s device to prevent speech when words are
unnecessary.
Ingrid Bergman.
If you truly love someone, let them go. If they return, it was meant
to be.
If they don’t, their love was never yours to begin with. Anon.
Love shows in your deeds, not your words. Jerome Cummings.
To love and win is best. To love and lose, the next best. Thackeray.
True love never dies, but bonds for life.
Lust fades and pushes away. Alicia Barnhart.
Love is hard work. Hard work sometimes hurts. Anon.
True love arrives quietly, no banners or flashing lights.
If you can hear bells, get your ears checked. Erich Segal
Who says love is not alive? Perhaps he has never lived. Anon.
Love is a single soul sharing two bodies. Artistotle.
Love is like playing a piano.
First learn the rules. Then forget the rules. You
play from your heart.
Anon.
Don’t marry someone you can live with. Chose someone you cannot live
without. Rafael Ortiz.
Quotations from Kids:
Girl age 10 years;
I’m not rushing into love. I’m finding fourth grade
hard enough.
Boy age 8 years; Don’t ever forget your wife’s name. That will mess
up the love.
Boy age 7; If falling in love is anything like learning to spell,
forget it, I won’t do it. It takes too long.
Boy age 10; Never kiss a girl unless you can buy her a big ring and
her own video player.
She’s sure to want to watch a video of the wedding.
Finally from Oscar Wilde:
"Women are to be loved, not understood."
DOUG R. (England)
Published in Russian Woman Journal 11 February 2008
Your emails, replies and comments address lana@russianwomanjournal.com
