Tuesday 5 February 2008
DOUG R.
(England)
Curiosity killed
the
cat?
Part 5
Curiosity killed the cat? It nearly killed me. UK arrival
How
far can we go? How difficult was this journey? Did
I have sufficient facts figures and experience to make these important
decisions?
This was one of those 'tipping points' in life. They
happen from time to time. The path of life forks here, now. After
this everything changes - for both of us, but for others too.
Emotional matters aside there were serious practical ones
to consider. This change involved other people.
My own son was the same age as hers. After my divorce he
wanted to live with me. This question now changed to; did he want to live
with us? What was best for him? He was settled in that local community. He
went to that school, played games with those friends and so on. Was it fair
or right to bring him away from all that?
My fiancée’s son must attend school. Which school would
accept him? Age is important for
the British school system assimilation. At his age a new entrant would be
easier for both sides to accept each other and it would be easier for him to
make new friends.
Where would we live? Temporarily I was in a rented room
in a friend's rented house. For this new family unit I needed at least two
bedrooms.
My available capital had been slowly draining away with
all the traveling, visa costs, general and entertainments. I still retained
enough to deposit on a house and could still obtain a mortgage with price
limiting location. Now I could only afford a distinctly down-market area.
I had moved away from the geographical basis of my
business. I needed either to develop another income or rebuild the old.
Common sense advised waiting. But that would have ruined her son's chances
in the British education system. For that reason we had to make the move
within months or not for three years.
By that time he would be required to join the Russian Army....
She was a trained teacher. She
had been teaching chemistry for several years. The
UK is desperately short of science teachers. We
anticipated her finding a suitable post. She had been working hard on
learning the English language. I had long ago given up trying to learn
Russian. The poor standard of English teaching in Russia was soon evident.
But I hoped her improving English would not be so important for teaching
science.
Life should be with risk if it has any meaning.
I am not a vegetable, happy in my patch. I want to know
what is happening over the hill. My nature is to get up and go.
So was hers. The risks looked acceptable if we could work together.
The weeks we had spent together and the long daily emails when we were
apart, gave me the confidence we could deal with whatever arrived.
‘Whatever arrived’ was a nightmare of bureaucratic
blockages. I had not realized how strongly this bureaucracy had grown in my
country. I was unprepared for the constant interference involved in very
simple actions. It is best described as trying to swim in glue.
However we were able to settle down in spite of
officialdom.
Her son was accepted into a good local school. The
headmaster had progressive ideas and encouraged an open-minded culture.
With such help he passed into the next grade up the scale
of schools and eventually into a good British University. He is now in the
last stages of his degree course.
He has a good grounding for a good career. No need to
worry about the Russian Army.
My new wife learnt to drive and passed the driving test. This made a big difference to her life.
In particular her new substantial
independence helped her to a good management position.
This fairy tale has ended as they all should:
Happily Ever
After.
End
DOUG R. (England)
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