Me, I and myself

Hi,

My name is Lana. I was born in Russia in St Petersburg - then Leningrad. Part of my life I lived in Latvia near the Baltic Sea and part of It – in Ukraine on the Black Sea.  These are now independent countries but then were part of one big country the Soviet Union.

Now I have lived in England for 7 years, happily married.  My husband is British and I have a son 21 years old from my previous marriage.

 Because I have changed a few times the places and countries where I lived, now I have many friends in Russia, Latvia, Ukraine and some other countries as well.

 I hold a Masters Degree in Mathematics and Engineering, and a Postgraduate education in Russian Language and Literature.

 My native language is Russian. Also I used to speak Latvian - which I have almost forgotten now, Ukrainian - I still remember quite well, English of course - hope not too bad but still probably needs improvement, French - originally I knew French better than English but to improve my English I suppressed French, but I still can speak a bit of French. I don't have too many problems with communications when I go to France.  I used to learn a bit of Italian – just because I liked the sound of this language, but I can't speak it and can only understand roughly what they talking about.

 After I finished University I worked in one of the largest sea ports of Latvia as an engineer and mathematician (this was my job title- sounds a bit frightening don’t you think?)  It was not too much to do with mathematics but definitely with lots of engineering. Among other duties I had to write different instructions and engineering documentation for the many sections of technological processes in the sea port. Sounds boring? Yes it was, actually. So I was trying to make it sound interesting, as much as possible of course.

But somehow my writing of those instructions and documentation became longer and longer, when I offered them for further approval.  There were four levels of approval by management and administration before they could be publications!   Russians reading this will know exactly what I'm talking about. (The bureaucratic machinery of the Former Soviet Union was well developed!)

 Every time I produced my wonderful Instructions and Descriptions of Technology to our Port Administration they looked at me with more and more surprise and interest- sometimes with suspicion-suggesting I would be better writing novellas or other fiction.  Sometime they tried to correct and reduce the size of my compositions to make them shorter and with fewer details. (I suppose it is typical of a man's approach - nice short and clear). But I still think that my "creations" were nice and professional even if they weren't short and contained many little details (typical woman's approach).  But very soon they gave up and approved almost everything as I wrote it.

At the same time my creative engineering writing was noticed by some industrial manufacturers in the town. They used some of my Instructions and Documentation to assist their own cooperating efforts. They liked them very much. I was asked to prepare sets of Instructions, Descriptions and Methodical documentation for them too.  Which I happily accepted. An engineer's salary wasn't big and extra money is always welcome. 

 So now I was working full time at my main job and was doing additional work in the evenings and weekends.

 As well as this writing "passion" I used to write very long letters to my friends (There was no internet in that time!!!). As I said before I had lots of friends in many places and enjoyed communication with them. I actually didn't write often, I just didn't have too much time for it, but if I wrote - I wrote a lot about all the news and events in my life. 

I didn't quite think at that time what impression my long letters had on people - it even might be irritable. But as you can imagine I never received anything like the same amount I had I sent them.  But everybody was saying how they had enjoyed my long stories in my letters and asked me to write more.

But honestly I felt as though people were 'taking the mick.'   However I now realize that they probably were not, at least not all of them.

I was trying to make my letters shorter as well as my engineering documentation. It didn't happen.

Then two things happened in my life that would determine my future business and even my life.

First, as I said before, my Degree wasn't only in Engineering but Mathematics as well. In the department of the sea port where I worked was a student. He worked full time and was doing his degree or diploma with a correspondence course (equivalent of the Open University in UK, but every university had such facilities to allow people  to do their own education using a correspondence course working at home).  So one day he had a problem with his Maths test paper. He obviously was really struggling because almost every day he complained he can't manage his Maths and soon will be out of time with a closing date approaching and so and so on.

 I have always liked Maths. When I was in secondary school I took part in almost all the Maths competitions and quizzes and very often won. So I really felt I could do it, and I was just curious - I asked if I could read it. He looked at me with amusement and doubts but gave me his Maths paper. When I read the questions I found out (to my own surprise) that I still remembered most of the things that I had studied at schools and at university.

Within two days I solved all the Maths questions that he was trying to solve more than a month. When I gave it him back - he looked at me with dismay and disbelief, even said something that it made him laugh. It was a bit funny somehow; many men thought and still think that Mathematics is not on a list of women's talents and abilities, so not her business at all. So I laughed and even made a joke, something like "take a risk and send this test paper out for checking up. When you get your result back, if everything is all right - you'll bring me box of chocolate."

 Very soon I forgot all about it - I had many other things to do. In two weeks time or so, he appeared in front of my working desk with a box of chocolates, a bottle of champagne and… his next Maths test paper. The expression on his face was very serious this time. My solutions in the previous workings had been absolutely correct! The word about my brilliant mathematical talent went around.

In our sea port were about 3.000 workers. Among them were many students who worked to make a living while taking a full or part time education with or without a correspondence course.

So as you can imagine I became very popular and even busier then before. It was like snowball as more Maths test papers and even lessons and consultations I was doing as more became demand.

And the second event that happening in the same time to have influence on my future life wasn’t that much about business but better say developed some interest. One of my girl friends on one of the Riga's town radio stations was just at the beginning of her career. She was trying to do programs on different matters and trying out what she could do better and what she would like to develop more.

One day she was doing a part of the program on relationships and marriage, and what aspects are the main influences on them (who really knows all that? But I see no harm in discussing them of course). I can't remember now the details but she asked my opinion about various matters.  I expressed my opinion as usual in many words! So she asked me to write some notes, because she couldn't remember all I said. I agreed because I was truly interested in subject.

One of the facts for example, was that in Latvia was there was a big difference between the ratio of men and women of marriageable age. For every 2 women - there was only one man. I still don't know how precise was that information but this was the result of her research. As to my opinion I don't quite know what these proportions were, but there were definitely more women than men.

Anyway I wrote my notes for her, trying to make them short but …I couldn't help myself, and they were long again! She used them on her radio program. It was very successful and had a lot of feed back. I did like how my words sounded in it! All my writing sounded really nice, but maybe I just flattered myself. Later I did a few more articles for local radio and newspaper discussing different subjects mainly concerning relationships somehow.

 This was a moment when I thought that I would like to change something in my life and do different things - something to do with writing. I took post degree course in local university in Russian Language and Literature preparing myself for new career. But fortunately or unfortunately this new career didn't happen, at least not at that time.

  At the same time as doing all these things I was too busy to realise that my future husband was not the right one for me. So my marriage didn't last.

Soon, with my little son, I moved to Ukraine where I had some relatives and friends.

 Although I was offered very good positions (attractive from both sides - money and prospective career) in two biggest sea ports of Ukraine,  thanks my previous employers, managers and friends, I decided to find something I could do by working from home or mainly from home or close to home - to be with my son as much as possible.  So I declined those attractive and prosperous offers - NO regrets here! I had not achieved a new big career but I was looking after my son every day of his life, watching every step him of him growing without grandparents or any other help.

 Guess what? Of course I was doing Mathematics. I started from a one line advertisement in two weekly local newspapers. In two years time my private Tutorial Agency specializing in degree level Mathematics and Physics,  was very well known and not just in my town but far way. I still was doing the biggest amount of work myself - test papers, lessons, consultations, preparations for exams and so on. But also I had a few people working for me. I had more work than I could handle.

 Later I took part-time job as a Maths teacher in the local school for two reasons - first I needed a legal basis to prove my income (the law about private business wasn't quite established in Ukraine at that time). My second reason- was just to be up to date what new things were going on in Mathematics.

 It was a time when one casual encounter with my schoolmate changed my life again. I met her on the street not very far from where I lived. We hadn't seen each other for 10 years and I didn't expect anything except the usual polite short conversation. I knew she had a masters Degree in Chemistry (she was very good in chemistry at school, so no surprise here) I knew she was working after University in Science Laboratory doing some research in Physics and Chemistry, her husband was working there as well. But to my question if she working in the same place, she suddenly said - no, I'm actually in America, already 5 years, I am here just for a holiday.

   It seemed she and her husband took a contract to work in America, he - at a University in Research in Chemistry and she to teach chemistry at school. She suggested that I could do it as well just with Mathematics. Just to be polite I asked her would it be all right for her to let me know if she sees something suitable for me. It’s amazing how little things what you don’t even take seriously at the moment can change your life.

 I somehow liked the idea but still couldn’t believe I would be brave enough to do that. But… the next year I spent learning English and trying to find jobs in all the possible and impossible places, alongside with my Maths business of course.  

 And I found job but again thanks to my schoolmate (well known Russian saying – don’t have 100 rubles but have 100 friends!) – I still don’t think I would find something without her. And I applied for it. My application was approved.  I applied for an American visa for me and my son of course. I was told to expect a waiting time of something like 8 months.

Yes, this is what it took, but in something like 6-7 months I received a letter from the American Embassy with a date of interview and list of the documents I must bring with me (A lot! But fortunately I had all of them, no problems.)

 Here I would like to mention that all those months of waiting for visa I was trying to gather as much information as possible about America, work and life there.  I can't say I liked everything that I found out about a teaching job in America and about the place where I would live and some other details about the general living conditions there, surroundings and so on.  I wasn't sure at all whether I would be able to get on with my future job very well.

 When I cancelled my visa application shortly before the interview - my relatives, friends and people who knew me thought that I was just MAD!!! Everybody told me exactly that.  I would not be so lucky to get such lifetime opportunity again.

 Nevertheless I was lucky again! In a few months time I found a Maths teaching job in England. It took just a couple of months to process my job application and then my visa application for 6 months contract. I had just 5 days to sort myself out and my 13 years old son. We had to hurry to catch a flight to England. I had to start my teaching job and he- his school year in a new school.

 After 6 months I extended our visa for another year, then more, and then… I met my future husband!

 Now I’m happily married and my son is a student of University, just started his second year.

But you know what?  I'm not doing that teaching job anymore.  I did it for a couple of years and all that time I was feeling that it is very difficult for me and too stressful to maintain discipline in the classroom. Here it is called "to control a class".

Honestly  I had to spent so much effort  and energy to control a class and make the pupils pay attention  and listen  to me that it wasn't too much strengths and time left for Maths...So I left a school.

 But all that time that I have lived in England I was asked many times by my Russian friends here how did I manage to get this job. Many Russian teachers were trying but couldn't get it for some reason.  -  No secrets here!

Please write to me with all your questions - and I'll answer if I can.  But...be patient! Remember - I write long letters with long explanations, even if now it is called ‘e-mail'.

Going back to what I said before - I left my job at the school and now work in an office provided legal services.

So adding together my personal knowledge and experience and knowledge obtained at my work and through communication with other people  I wrote on the  topic  (in  Russian  part  in  my web  site) about visas for Russian (and not  only)  fiancees  and wives  from  first steps through to  citizenship. I also wrote on the topic of the UK medical service. I plan to write about banking, education, car-driving and whatever else will be demanded and of interest. 

Of course Women's Club where your wife, fiancee or girlfriend can find communication, support, understanding and just relaxation while reading other women’s stories.

 In the English part of my website you can ask your questions, make comments, reply or share some stories from your own experience. At the moment I have a few topics for discussion and  stories written by a man who married a Russian woman. 

And then we will see how it's going.

The idea of relationship between Western  men and Russian women   is really interesting to me. That is why I decided to create this web site.

I created this site for information, communication and discussion, I created it for YOU.

 Many thanks,

 Lana Hurrell

Your emails, replies and comments address lana@russianwomanjournal.com