Russian Woman Journal

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Point of view

Monday  28 January 2008 

Children from previous marriage.

Part 2

Children from previous marriage. Part1

Another question that I came across in Women’s forums on Internet is … guess what? Unfortunately money again. This time it is money and children from previous marriage. And before you said something I’m answering you’re your question:  yes of course you have to support your children, pay child support or some other way paying their needs, not just needs, but what they want as well, and even spoil them, as much as you can.

But here a few examples from real life happened with families that I knew or with friend and acquaintances  of families that I knew. And those examples from my point of view didn’t help to  build understanding, trusting and happy relationship between husband and wife, or future husband and wife.

One of my girlfriends who came here to marry British man – on the question what her fiancée gave for Christmas – answered that he gave her bouquet of flowers (looked like from petrol station) and said that this is all he can afford because he spent seven hundreds pounds for the presents for his two daughters from previous relationships, and now he doesn’t have any money. On a top of this he spent Christmas Day with his daughters promising his fiancée to come back in the evening to celebrate Christmas. But then he phoned her and said that his ex-girlfriend, mother of his younger daughter, has a personal problem – she split up with her current boy-friend and she can’t be in her own because she is very  upset. So he is going to keep her company.  And here was more because of the break up with her boyfriend now she has financial difficulties so he is going to give her money to support her and if he needs to borrow it – he will.

 Then week after on New Year Eve and New Year  Day he took his daughters for weekend away, leaving his fiancée in her own again… So, guess what? – Marriage didn’t happened, in a few weeks she went back to Russia in spite of all his promises to sort out all the problems.

Another man took his two children for holiday to America borrowing for this purposes a couple thousands pounds . As the result – his mortgage  monthly payment increased and his new Russian wife who just started to work had to pay it because he couldn’t afford it.

Another husband on his birthday invited his new wife out in the evening. He booked nice restaurant and asked her get  herself ready.  But in the morning he went  for quick visit to his children because they wanted to give their father cards and presents. Which perfectly all right of course.  But he ended up taking his children around for different sorts of entertainments and meals out  for whole the day. When he came home later that evening he said to his wife they don’t go anywhere because he doesn’t have any money left and not hungry.

Similar story happened with another my girlfriend but on a Christmas Day. But only difference was that Christmas dinner supposed to be at home. So dinner was wasted and any good spirit on that day as well.

And probably one more example about husband who was working from home and was visiting his two teenage children not just weekends but any time of the week they wanted to. He provide taxi service to any place and any time they wanted to in spite they have been more than 40 miles away – in and out to school, cinema, friends, clubs, sport, many other sorts of entertainments and paying for all that as well. So in just a bit more that year he had debts on his credit cards that he couldn’t pay out. Mainly because he didn’t have time to do his business properly. So the only solution was to remortgage the house. So he did and year and half later he remortgaged again.

Of course  you can say that this is his money and his house, he can do what he likes! Yes it is so, but when it affects other people – his new wife and his step- daughter – it would be nice to think before you spend money what you don’t have.

Unfortunately there are more examples like that, but I would better stop it here. I just wonder what other men think about that? I would like to hear from you.

To be continued.

Yours sincerely,

 Lana Hurrell

End of part 2

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Published in Woman's Magazine Russian Woman Journal  www.russianwomanjournal.com - 28 January 2008

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